Lifestyle June 30th, 2017

Here Come The Men (Dressed) In Black

What is scum anyway?

And why did we think that men wearing all black were qualified to protect us from it? I am not, nor have I ever been, a man, and yet I wanted to be one of them; my brother wanted to be one of them. We wanted to wear the look; we wanted to be cool; we both wanted a Pug named Frank.

Probably to the delight of our parents, neither of us ever achieved any of those goals. However, I found some amazing products to help my brother have at least part of his dream. (And since I get to sit near Archie the Pug, I’ve pretty much achieved my part of my dream as well!)

Check out these must-have summer accessories for the well-dressed alien catcher. I mean gentleman!

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Guess

This watch looks like it could contact other universes with all the knobs and dials it possesses! Guess has been around for 36 years and has no plans to slow down. The U0971G1 has perforated straps, giving it an otherworldly look. It comes with a stainless steel case to store it, is water resistant and keeps your time down to the second. One of the perks to this watch is that it would be perfect for any woman, too.

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Steve Madden

Steve Madden has been a trendsetter in the fashion footwear industry since 1990. And this shoe is one of my favorites. The Steve Madden Jumboe is classy enough to look like a high-priced wing tip, yet affordable enough to send to my brother for his birthday. The upper is made of genuine leather, and the extra detail in the textured synthetic insole makes this the perfect Men in Black shoe. The lace-up front has metal eyelets, adding a touch of flair. It has a narrow toe and full brogue detail with an elevated, man-made heel.

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Coach

Government agents, spies, brothers, fathers and grandfathers will all find this Coach Hudson 5 bag functional, stylish and unforgettable. It’s a pared down version of a traditional briefcase, with the utmost attention to form and function. It’s made from durable crossgrain leather and has flat handles and a wide shoulder strap for a versatile carry. Inside there’s maximum space for your laptop or tablet and interior pockets that’ll hold your valuables. Or Frank’s water dish because even alien pugs get thirsty!

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Goorin Brothers

I’m well aware that Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones didn’t wear Fedoras, but growing up with a dad that worked for the government, I always saw him wearing one. I thought it would be entirely appropriate to add one to the checklist. Besides, check this Killian hat out! Perfect for the summertime, it’s lightweight and has a contrasting hatband and trim. Made of 100% paper straw, you’ll be glad you decided to add one to your outfit.

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Ray-Ban

No Men in Black wannabes would be worth their salt if they didn’t include a pair of upscale, polarized Ray-Ban shades. These babies absorb 100% of all UV and even some blue light. The nose pads are adjustable, and the glasses come with a case. And if you don’t have perfect vision, these sunglasses are prescription ready! Although Ray-Bans may not protect you from memory-erasing neuralyzers, the durable acetate frames are sure to add style to your wardrobe regardless of who you encounter!

My brother and I may not be Men in Black material, but thanks to these great accessories, I can put my brother one-step closer to looking the part. Come on Frank/Archie, we have planets to save and aliens to discover!